Conspiracy Theories

A friend of mine, who has in the past struggled with her weight, joined a website community of people supporting each other as they try to lose and stay healthy. I registered for the site so that I could keep up with her blog and forgot to uncheck the box that says "subscribe to weekly newsletters." I usually delete them unopened but occasionally spot a headline that looks promising/pertinent to me. This week's was about ice cream. Now, to be fair, it was about the healthiest types to eat if you're going to indulge. But first it listed different flavors and variations and all I could think was "Mmmm, ice cream." Similarly, a friend of mine went to a meeting of a group that I will not name but whose initials are W.W. and she said they spent the entire time talking about people's trigger foods, the stuff that could set them off on a binge. (For me, white-chocolate covered pretzels and salt vinegar potato chips. Or maybe tortilla chips with really good guacamole). When she left, all she could think was, "Mmm, chips."

Is it not self-defeating to make people dwell on the stuff they shouldn't eat but are craving? If I were a cynical person, I might even think it was deliberate, thereby keeping plump people plump and in need of dietary services...

But I don't even have to look further than my own home to suspect someone of nefarious plotting. You know how in that moment right before you fall asleep, you can have all kinds of Random Thoughts. My cherubic-faced five year old daughter has those during her waking hours and usually attaches them to the question "Am I right?" (ex, as I was getting into the shower, she knocked on the door to ask, "Ant eaters eat ants...am I right?" As I was trying to get the dishwasher loaded, switch out laundry and get the kids fed before swim lessons, she ventured, "To go to 'lympics, you have to really practice and be great, am I right?") I see now that the little darling was trying to lull me into a false sense of security.

Her, as I'm backing the minivan out of the garage and trying to keep an eye on kids playing in the street, "Mommy, we're getting a new puppy, am I right?"

Me: "Ri--What? No!"

I'll need to stay on my toes. She is sneaky, but I have the advantage of age and wisdom. Or, at least, age.

The Change

Thanks to syndicated repeats and televsion-on-DVD, my kids (including my soon-to-be kindergartener daughter) have become big fans of the Cosby Show. It was a funny sitcom but never shied away from touching on real life topics, such as a final season episode when Claire's doctor tells her she's going through The Change. Some of the symptoms are described, as well as the news that it's something all women experience.

Imagine my surprise when my newly turned five year old streaked into the kitchen, wide eyed and panicked, shrieking "Mommy, I do not want to have mini-paws!"

Anna Issues

So I have this friend, incredibly talented writer Anna DeStefano. I was reminded that she has a new book out right now because when I walked into my mom's house the other day to pick up my kids, the first thing I saw was Anna's June book, To Protect the Child, part of her Atlanta Heroes series for Harlequin Superromance on Mom's endtable where she pitches keys and mail. It made me laugh because when my sister called me a few weeks ago from New York she was in the middle of reading Anna's May novella in Mothers of the Year (Anna is a prolific writer.)

My sister told me, "I was determined not to cry in this one! But since I was already welling up during the Dear Reader letter, I think I'm doomed."

It's true. I love Anna (as, clearly, do all the readers in my family) and she is a funny lady. She's helped me through many a crisis in the near-decade we've been friends and she can usually make me laugh even in dire circumstances. We have very similar senses of humor and she can appreciate the snarky entertainment of sites like Television Without Pity. But Anna has a dark side. She makes people cry, I'm warning you now. She once handed me a birthday card in a public place and I foolishly opened it, expecting a graphic with birthday candles and some punchline about aging. But no. In thirty words or less, she went for the emotional jugular, making me sob in front of other people. And it's not just me and my family affected this way! I was once at a breakfast buffet with many authors, one of whom shared that in addition to writing, she teaches. I walked away from the table for a minute and returned to find a dozen women in tears. I looked immediately at Anna. "What did you DO?" (Turns out, in the space of time it took me to fetch syrup, she'd shared this incredibly moving story about some teachers who'd risked their lives evacuating students and leading them to safety.) I no longer travel anywhere with Anna without waterproof mascara.

Now, there are some funny lines in her books and the main romantic storylines have uplifting, satisfying endings. So, if you're looking for something to tuck in your bag and take to the beach, check out one of Anna's recent books! But stick some tissues in there alongside your towel and sunscreen.

Are You Looking Forward?

I'm always admonishing my kids to look up, look ahead, and watch where they're going--especially my five year old daughter who has a tendency to watch her feet, study stuff on the ground, or even read while she's walking (can't imagine where she gets that habit from) and a proportional tendency to walk into poles, trash barrels or even bang her head on the side mirrors of people's cars in parking lots. I tell her it's important to look forward...and then I get her more ice for her head and Hello Kitty band-aids.

I was on the phone with several friends today. They called to extend comfort because J is having surgery tomorrow ("minor," if that word can actually be applied to surgery) but I was passing along comfort of my own. One just lost her grandmother. One is worried about the stress of her own job while dealing with the possibility that her husband might lose his job. We've all got our heads down, hurrying through the chaos, noses to the grindstone, and sometimes I think we forget to look up, to see the bigger (sometimes brighter) pictures and look forward.

I'm sure you have your own stress and hustle and bustle. Sometimes it feels like we're just trying to get through the day, but we should be living, not just surviving. Take a moment to stop, inhale deeply, appreciate something about your life and find something to look forward to! It can be as small as watching a favorite television show (hey, I definitely look forward to that hour after the kids are in bed and I can watch Top Chef, a glass of chilled wine in my hand) or as big as getting your degree, finishing your novel, redecorating your house.

I'm looking forward, first and foremost, to the docs calling me in to say that J is in recovery and everything looks great. But, more whimsically and long range, I am looking forward to the RWA conference in San Francisco this summer (if you're in the San Fran area, check out the huge charity literacy autographing!), the release of the irreverent action comedy Hancock, because I love Will Smith, watching fireworks with my kids on July 4th, and finishing my novel Baggage Claim (my editor is also looking forward to that), to celebrating my tenth wedding anniversary at the end of summer, and the drop of temperatures this fall (I know, I know, it's only early June, but I'm already wilting in the heat and fantasizing about October cold fronts.)

What about you? Small pleasures or big milestones on the horizon that have you counting the days? I'm not a patient person by nature, but sometimes I think having something good to savor, something bright and shiny on the horizon, is almost as much fun as getting there. If nothing else, it's a heck of a lot more enjoyable than spending my days bouncing off side-view mirrors and walking into poles.

Top Ten Reasons Tanya Hasn't Blogged

1. I had multiple book deadlines. Apparently, that's the dark sinister side of "multi-book contracts." Who knew?

2. The dog ate my blog.

3. My small children seem to think they should be fed every day--get this, at least three times!

4. Laziness.

5. I was abducted by aliens. Sadly, when the aliens brought me back, I still had deadlines to tackle, laundry to do, and kids clamoring for food.

6. Top Chef. (Go, Stephanie!) I can't miss an episode. I keep tuning in to see the one where they finally kick Lisa off (sadly, yet to happen). I can't watch an episode without getting hungry and eating which leads to an increased need for...

7. Exercise. I'm spending too much time with my butt in the chair at the computer (and eating). I'd rather not drop over dead at the keyboard, so I should probably make an effort to stay in better shape.

8. We had a whirlwind of late spring activites--kindergarten graduation (I cried), first ballet recital (I cried), choir concert (I cried) etc...

9. I had to stop and rehydrate.

10. Multiple book deadlines. I must have been on drugs when I signed my last round of contracts (that drug would be Benadryl, by the way) because I seem to have a book due every twenty minutes. Which means, time to go write again...

So what about you? How've you been spending YOUR time so far this summer?

Forever Young

Okay, I am not what you would call a fan of Rod Stewart, but the lyrics to this particular song (Forever Young) are lovely and entirely appropriate to how I'm feeling right now. My baby graduated kindergarten! (With actual cap and gown. They honest to goodness played Pomp and Circumstance as the kids marched down the aisle, which was simultaneously poignant and hilarious. It also brought home how quickly high school graduation will roll around and--gulp--college tuition. Please, buy my books! *g*)

It seems like only yesterday he'd just started three year old preschool and I was snapping pictures like these:



But just look how much he's grown!!!

Wings of a Dove (A Celebratory Song)

Okay, so today's song of the day--all right, fine, song of the week, but I know if you have kids, you understand, the End of the Year schedule is INTENSE, not just school year but the ballet recital, the final soccer tournament, the soccer awards ceremony, the karate ka-ta, the teacher appreciation dinner, someone bring me a bag to breathe into!

Briefly hyperventilated at the thought of my crowded calendar and to-do list, but I'm much better now. In fact, I'm in a downright celebratory mood, hence today's "Madness" selection--Madness being the band name, not my state of mind. As far as you know.

If you've never heard Wings of a Dove (A Celebratory Song), it's way upbeat and can be found on both M.'s Ultimate Collection (which also includes "Our House" in the middle of the street...) and the 10 Things I Hate About You soundtrack. Before I depressed myself just now by thinking about Heath Ledger (who was great in 10 Things), I was feeling extremely celebratory for a variety of reasons.

1. Dollhouse! The creative mind of Joss Whedon is coming back to TV. *fangirl squeal, writerly swoon* Also, Eliza Dushku and Tamoh Penikett who I probably should have just called "Helo" cause it's shorter and easier to spell!

2. Trouble in Tennessee, my debut book for Harlequin American Romance is a Booksellers Best finalist, and I can't wait to go to the awards ceremony in San Franciso this July!

3. Necessary Arrangements, my debut novel under my actual name, finaled in the CRW Award of Excellence and was a merit recipient in the HOLT Medallion (Honoring Outstanding Literary Talent).

4. Dollhouse! Yeah, so I mentioned it already and we have to wait until January, but trailers and clips are starting to hit the web and I'm all kinds of excited. Which I'm sure comes as a shock to you, since I feign nonchalance so well...

Spirt in the Sky

Someone special died last week. BTW, I suck at funerals, memorial services, what have you... J and I stood in line with everyone else paying their respects, smiling at memories and photos of the deceased--then we got up to the widow and I burst into tears, while she patted me on the shoulder.

When J and I got married, we met John and his wife through our church. I come from a divorced home and J's parents live many states away, so John and his wife--married thirtyish years--were a neat role model for two struggling newlyweds. They gave us job advice, they served as our references when we filed for adoption, they cheered for us and threw a baby shower when it turned out I was pregnant after all, they laugh after church at how big my kids are getting. There's no doubt in my mind that he's in a better place and I'm glad he no longer suffers cancer. But it's hard for me to imagine her without him--I think that's what sent me over the edge. But, ever gracious, she told me that she's so warmed by everyone's love for him that seeing us mourn takes the edge off her grief. I thought that was a beautiful sentiment.

John will be missed by many. Who are the special people in your life, beyond the obvious immediate family? If you don't mind a little unsolicited advice, make sure you let them know how special they are while you have the chance.

Song of the Day: THANK YOU

While Alanis expessed gratitude in her song for "frailty, consequence, silence," I would rather give a shout to John and Amanda of Dog Ear Books in Madison, GA (and of course Eve the resident cat). I signed copies of Necessary Arrangements this weekend and appreciated the hospitality. I also sincerely appreciated everyone who bought a copy or even just stopped to chat with me and wish me luck with my writing.

Writing can be incredibly solitary, which is fine somedays, alone with your imagination and a world of possibilities. But solitary at the front of a bookstore where people only stop to ask if you know where the bathroom is--well, that's just painful. So thanks to everyone who made it a nice event! Hope you enjoy the book ~